In every single one of our lives, we've had moments that we glanced back upon with weary eyes and turning stomachs. We all have situations we aren't proud of, actions we didn't agree with, unkind words accidentally spat; moments we are simply embarrassed about every day. Humans make mistakes and as humans I think its our duty to take a step back and look at the upsetting or embarrassing parts of our past, to give ourselves some closure for them. Maybe you've got something that you’ve never been able to work out or comprehend; I know I do. One way I’ve learned to deal with embarrassment or shame in my past is to write myself a letter. I full-heartedly believe it’s beneficial to look back and just acknowledge it. If you don’t know where to start or what to start with, it’s ok, it can even be a letter looking back at your favorite memories. Just remind yourself what you’ve been through that makes you, you. I’ll start.
Dear Karley, just breathe. I know it feels like nothing will ever pan out in the right way but it will. I know it’s a fight every day to get out of bed but I’m proud to tell you that you can do it every day now with a smile. Let go of the anger you are holding inside of you, I promise you it feels amazing. I’m sorry I let you put yourself in so many unfortunate situations but just know you make it through every single one stronger. You meet your birth mom and it’s nothing you ever had imagined. She’s beautiful and Intelligent, aggravating and childish, loving and uplifting, and so many more things. You move towns and you soar through school, you make beautiful friends and once-in-a-lifetime relationships. You live the life you always prayed for and it’s because you kept fighting. I love you and you may not love yourself fully yet but you will; you are beautiful and cherished. Open your mind back up to faith and possibility, don’t let hateful words get you down. Looking back I know people who hurt you were only ever hurting themselves. Look at them with kindness, it may be the only time they get it. Continue on making friends with anyone alone, a lot of those friendships turn into amazing things later on in your life. You are too young to be acting so old, let yourself be a kid. It’s ok to not be ok but never strive for anything less than what you deserve. Don’t ever give in. Continue to be the strong woman you are.
I love you,
Being able to write that and put all my thoughts onto a paper is beyond freeing. In my life, I’ve learned it’s ok to accept that you’ve done wrong and made mistakes. It’s ok to pity ourselves here and there but to always come out stronger. There’s nothing I can do to change the past but I can work towards accepting the things in my past to ensure my future stays where I need it to stay.